Fights are a considered a normal part of relationships and it is even healthy to have the occasional overheated debate with your better half. But, when these silly arguments actually cross into full-blown fights, they have the tendency to go out of hand quickly. This is definitely not the key for a loving and lasting relationship. What should you do? Here are some of the best ways for you to manage your anger effectively and cope during a bad marital spat:
Know when to exit
If you think the situation is getting out of hand and you will not be able to handle it reasonably, it is time for you to remove yourself from it. This is much better than having regrets later on. However, if it is not possible for you to leave the room gracefully, you have the option of just gracefully changing the topic and preventing any further blow-ups.
Exit earlier than you think you need to
On a scale of 1 to 10, when your anger reaches level 3, it is time for you to make your exit. This is when you will still be able to leave. But, if you stay and your anger reaches level four, it will become increasingly difficult for you to exit. You will keep trying to make your point due to self-indignation and this will make your wants most important.
Shift your focus
When you have managed to leave the argument, it is time for you to stop thinking about it completely or at least until you have calmed down. Think about something other than what made you angry or led to the argument. Give yourself some air.
Look for peace and laughter
When you are changing your focus, it is recommended that you think of something that evokes laughter and peace. It should make you happy rather than sad or mad. You can close your eyes and think of your happy place if you want. It can be the beach or your favorite picnic spot.
Take a deep breath
Believe it or not, meditation can truly help in calming you down. You can clear the emotional air by clearing the physical air. When you fall asleep in bed, the deep and slow breathing helps you in doing exactly that and now it will bring you relaxing energy when you are trying to calm your inner fires.
Relax and smile
You need to relax your muscles, which means letting your arms go limp. Let the little muscles around your mouth and eyes go lax so you don’t feel under pressure. Even if you have to force yourself, put a smile on your face. Even fake smiles can soothe and bring feelings of affection, gratitude as well as positive thoughts.
Test the waters
So, you are ready to deal with the issue again, but before you do, it is best to prepare yourself. Don’t let it get to you again or else the end result will be the same. Discuss pleasant topics first before you move onto the tough ones. You have to ensure that you and your significant other are in the emotional light zone before you venture into the sensitive areas again.
Talk calmly and effectively
You have to share your concerns with your partner and listen to theirs. Your tone should be collaborative and relaxed and both of you can look for solutions together. The aim is to let your partner know what you are thinking and find out what they are thinking.