This seems strange; why should you fight at all, when you know it can ruin your marriage? Simple, fighting is a very normal part of marriage. You are not robots. When two human beings get married, it means they live together and spend considerable time in each other’s company. Obviously, it is natural for disagreements to occur, even if they are the most patient of people. It is not possible for couples to agree on everything and having a difference of opinion is not a bad thing. As a matter of fact, fights are known to strengthen a marriage, but only when they are done the right way.
Is there really a right way to fight? Yes, indeed. There are some rules to be followed when you are fighting because of a conflict in your marriage. If you follow these rules, you can ensure that your marriage is not ruined and damaged beyond repair. Here is exactly what you need to do:
Never fight in public
This is a hard and fast rule about fighting. It is an embarrassing situation for you and your spouse and it is also very uncomfortable for those who are forced to witness it. Whether they are your friends or even complete strangers, they don’t want to see a couple fight. In addition, it is not possible for you to solve an issue in a public environment and it is only going to escalate due to the awkwardness. If you cannot leave immediately, you need to let it rest for a while. One added benefit of this is that it gives you both a chance to cool down and think.
Don’t fight because you want to hurt your spouse
Your ego tends to take control when you are angry and ego is only focused on war. You need to remember that wars can hurt the other person. You will be driven to use your partner’s sensitivities as trigger points. It is very immature and unfair of you to use their vulnerable spots and hit them below the belt. They have trusted you with their problems and you are exploiting their faith in you. Even in the heat of the moment, you should remember that you love and cherish this person and not do something that’s irreversible. The wounds you inflict with your words may never be forgotten
Avoid discussing the past
Again, it is natural for people to bring out things that happened in the past and were not resolved properly. Most of us bring them out to use them as ammo against the other person. This is a definite no-no because it is only going to take attention away from the problem at hand and unnecessarily extend it. There is a possibility that the argument could have been resolved quickly, but dredging up the past only worsened the situation. Just focus on the matter at hand and try to resolve it as quickly as possible.
Don’t be overly dramatic
It is also normal, especially for women, to become overly dramatic when they are fighting. In order to make a point and add some flair, you can create a bit of drama and turn something into bigger than it really is. You need to keep things in perspective and control your emotions as much as possible. If you do this, there is a greater chance of your partner listening to you carefully and issue will be cleared quickly. However, if you bring out the theatrics, the problem is going to extend and the fight may be blown way out of proportion, which can threaten your marriage.